Climbing the walls that bigger and high than Great wall of China

Hi again!!!....Some kind of free and calmness covered my heart today, after I tried to practiced positive thinking towards each of troubles and problem in my life..

I realize that, non of the things in this world will blocking your way if you choose not to stay in its trapped...the best things that you should do is..start fighting the uncomfortable feeling towards yourself and break the walls that hinder you...

Some of my friends asking this questions; how to do its..??how to break the walls if its became bigger and you can't see the way out..?..

here..my answer is; think positives..in what aspect..??..

1st:towards yourself...

dig deeper in your heart..and find out what is your biggest hinderance..??..

2nd:towards your ambition, and also your dreams...what are the things that you really wanted to achieves..??

3rd:towards the problem that you face in...?? it is the biggest problem that your ever have..??..

4th:towards faith!!!...this part is very importance to you to dig out....can't help you there..if you do not know the sources of your faith, and what you believe in....

So, for those who still questioning and finding the answer..try this one..who knows it will help you too...but,remember its may not works for those who's have problem in controlling their emotions...

Thank You...Have A Nice Days..

freezing experienced:10 minutes...

When our lecturer sound the whistle,all of us need to be freeze....its about 10 minutes standing with our action...hold and hold....first 3 minutes...stand still...after 3 to 5 minutes....my hand shivered and I can't focused on my action because I started felt back pain....I almost laughed at my friend when I saw she also shaking...and lose her attention...

I can felt the time is to slow and I can't hold my action anymore....I saw the other group also frustrated waiting the time come and stop....

I can remember..I almost shouted.."please stop..I can't do this anymore"...but I remembered clearly what my lecturer told us before...need to do our best..its about dignity...nothing should be shy...if we can finish it....we can proud of our self...

it's true...after 10 minutes gone...and the whistle sounded for second times...all of us breaks the freezing action and said "ahrrr..."its done...!!!..

our activity ended with photograph session..but the best thing and I will never forget about is...my experienced when I freeze and holding my action for 10 minutes...

People who's watched us can't felt the same experienced as us felt its...this made freezing action is special experienced...

New Semester with New Begining

After going through all my second year in UKM:now I am a third year student..its too fast to remains all experienced that encouraged me to be more positive about my future..even during my holidays, I keep thinking how to improves my self and what should I do for final year in UKM..

HONESTLY, I still looking for the answer of my questions...To be the best student is not my interest..I just want to achieves my own dream, in which I can get a good result in exam and serve God with all I am...

1st weeks in UKM...all my friends struggles to find out the "newest" or "junior"...but I still sitting in room..chatting and think about new mission as a third year student...I'm not really excited to be a 'HEAD HUNTER' for this semester...I thought that I doesn't have to involved in searching new student because I don't have any ideas to find out my Junior...but I can called its a miracles and a task from Lord Jesus...when I being encouraged to helped one of my friends...its a big surprise for me, because I still need to doing my part as a God Servant EVEN I'm not going out as my friends did..and what I have learnt from this miracle is, whatever and wherever you're..God always need you to serve Him..

3 Little friends

I already have 2 nieces and 3 nephew!!!....Opps..wait the minutes...I already mention 3 little friends at the title....??...OK, never mine....that the truth...I only have 3 little friends....its takes a lot of time if I tells you where is the 2 little friends....I tell you next times....Now,I want to focus on "2 nicest and 1 nephew"......I tells you, one by one OK....Lets me introduces 2 nicest first....

my first nicest is Cynthia Lyna...she is the first NICEST in my family....and she is my second elders brother daughter...she was born in 2007*I was upper six, when she was born*......there is a incident happen when she was born...the doctor sent her and my sister in law into ICU...because of her blood infected with bacteria*that what the doctor told us* but I'm not sure...*I'm not taking medical study*....*Continue*....she in hospital for one week after her birth....I was there when my brother take her home....I really excited when I saw her...most of my friend said...she just look like me....*once again..I'm not sure..but I think YES..*.....I love her very much....she is so cute and I really like her because she is not naughty girls...she funny....and she make me laughing every time I played with her....I like to buy a T-SHIRT for her every time I'll back for the holiday....but I really sad,because after 3 year she was born...I always missed her birthday party....*I'm where I now....

Now, she almost 3 year old..and she know how to talk...last week I'll called home..and she was there with my dad*her grandpa...and she start talking with me...I'll was shocked for the first time I heard her voiced....and I really happy...when I heard she called me "Auntie*...she is very soft spoken!!!.....that make me happy,although I missed a lot of my time with her....

OK....now.. I want to introduces my second nicest!!!....she is Daisy...and she is Cynthia Lyna sister....she was born 16 September 2009....I don't have a lot of information about Daisy, because she just 7 month almost 8...when I posting this story....she just look like my brother..really different with her sister Cynthia Lyna...and for me, what is really special about Daisy is..she looks like Japanese baby girl....and her name really significant with her..*Daisy*..a flower....

The last one is my nephew....He was born on 16 November 2009....and he is my fourth brother son....I really close with his father and I give his name Damien Elnathan.....he is special with his name because "Elnathan" is a biblical name and from a Hebrew words mean "God is given"..and Now he just 5 month...he really close with my mom*his grandma....because my mom taking care of him, while his mother are working...

Every time I called home, and I asking about him..my mom always said "dien is sleeping"....now he got a nickname "dien"....and my dad called him "In-dien"....but I called him "mien"...very funny*my dad always said "its very hard to mention his name"....He liked a sound around him...and my dad told me..He like to eat everything...including spicy fried egg..

Hm~anyway....I really miss 3 of them....now I called Cynthia "kakak" because she is the eldest one...

and I always pray that 3 of them will grow up with love and attention from their parents and...God will guiding them....and they will know Jesus Christ is a Savior and accept Him as a God and Savior *personally....in their life..Amen...

care about someone, who's never care about you

This is the case: How do feels if you care about someone....but she/he never care about you..???...

you tried to shows that you really care..but she/he never realize its..??...

Hm~than you get "engaged" all the time....*I'm laughing when I typing the word "engaged"...sounds like you called someone but the telephone always "engaged"...and you felt "frustration"...

OK...This case always happen anywhere..anytime....and NOW..its happen to me...*turn to sad modes*....I like to says "Well, you know"....*catch back Happy modes*...lets me continues, I really care about that persons...but "engaged" all the time....sometimes if I saw ****I try to talk with ****but I can't because I'm there...****never realize me!!!...although we know each others...

OK..I'll give up....*tired already*..maybe next time we can talk and be a good friend....I'll say MAYBE...???.....

Grabs the chances

What are the thing that you can Grabs easily....but you're careless about it..??...

I just think about "Grabs the chances" after finish my exam on friday...you know I can do my best for that exam if I try to study hard on it..of course I go through all the lecture note..but I did not really focus on the topic that my lecturer already tell my class before the exam...

But thanks God, I can do it,but I not really sure to get A for that course...

Hm~this what I means about "Grabs the chances"....I have a chance to get A for that course because my lecturer already Mention that topic will be come out for the exam~Just because I'm not really focus on it..then I might lose the A grad...

I'm not going to says I disappointed about it..but its became Lesson to LEARN for the next time~DON'T TAKE FOR GRANTED WHAT YOUR LECTURER ALREADY TOLD TO YOU...

NOW, I want to take long breathing and says...."I try my best for the next time~

How to manage Emotion~

Hm~ I just experienced something bad yesterday..I think better not to mention it here!!..it maybe insulting someone..I'm doing two thing now..reading the lecture note,while my hand typing the topic today...huh?....I can't stop myself from expressing the dissatisfied feeling toward somebody..

Do you ever feel stress when you argue with your boyfriend or girlfriend??..of course YES....

So, if you say "YES"...hOw do you manage it??.... I thought you may take a personal time*just what I did..

maybe you can going out for a while with your friend to forget about your problem..or anything that might help you to forget it...but...*the important thing is....You can manage your stress by doing something useful/benefit for you....

I just feels dying...when I see someone always acting like a crazy women every time she fighting*argue with her boyfriend*....she throw out everything in the room,crying*aloud*pretending there is nobody can hear her voice...the bad thing is....when it bedtime....and she still continue crying...what do you think about her roommate.??(its me)...she also ignoring me, if I try to give an advised...

I think that is a stupid thing.....!!!!!why should you cry every time you argues with your boyfriend..???...be cool lah..his not your husband yet!!!...no matter lah you love him more than you love God...if he always scolding and avoiding you from doing something you interest in....I think he is a stupid man....how could you lets your girlfriend feel unhappy..??*because everyone feel happy if they have a freedom to doing what they like/interest in...*

I keep wonder..why some people can't controls their emotion...*like a little baby*....

*bad experienced isn't?......

When I care and love somebody..*ACT

listen to the words I said..."You mean everything to me"..."no more fear about the future and blamed for the past"because I always by your side...I want you to know that I give everything for you and always guiding you!!!...have you ever heard this kind of words...???...

let me ask you....

whose normally said this kind of words..??...your parent??...special friend..??or someone that unseen but you know He/She cares about you..??...

Most of us like to say a beautiful words like above..but the question is...it that truly from our heart..??or we just play around the words to calms ourself or someone..??....

I like someone that never says this kind of words to me...but I know she cared and love me...how could I know she care and love me..???...

the answers is:

because she shows it from the way she ACT!!!...

NO NEED TO WAIT someone says "I care 0r I love you"...because sometimes we says that kind of words but we never 'ACT' to proved its...

so, to proves that we care and love someone...just "ACT"...

Sense of Loneliness

What do you think when you see the title above?.....

For me, I felt lonely when I mingles around my closer friends...

Hm~WHY??....

I can't find the good reason why I felt lonely among them...but that what I feel....

I try to find out why..?...

maybe because of their topic uninterested to me..

or...

they never realize about what I said to them...

or...

I'm not belong to their society..??

or..

I just want more attention from my friend..?

but sometimes, I realize I always prefer to be alone....not because they ignoring me..JUST because I felt better when I alone...and it doesn't means that I don't need a friend beside me..

Of course I like to socialize and having fun with my friend..*

I thought this is *Human Nature*....I just remember science as narrative courses...to analyze what is human nature....

owh?...so lonely become a part of human nature..??..

I don't think so...might be Yes..might be No...

How to solve this problem??...

be more positive toward others

or..

just lets it go...

*still searching..

what we call with memory

'MEMORY' it can be 'sweet and sour'....but one thing special about memory is it always near to our heart...and sometimes it influenced in the way we act now....

for me, memory is "story about myself"..personally, I like to remember all the thing that happen in my life...

I like to see people taking a picture and keep it as a memory...but I choose to keep it in my heart and my mind ...

It easy to forgot your friend name, but it not easy to forget the memory...

what is the color of memory..??

some people says it "black" and "white".....but I choose to say "it can be white,black and yellow...not only black and white... because the color of memory not appear as the you can see the "color"...but it always represent itself throughout the way we behave, maturity, and our perception about something...

in a simple words, memory colored our life...just imagine if only "black and white"..?? nothing special about ourself that can make others think we a "different".....

so, you can choose the "color" of memory that make you feel happy todays....

Completing the Task~

I dont know how to start.....

but I have a lot of thing need to says here!!!...

its all about" completing the task"~ I just remember, one of my senior said this words at CLC nite..(during sharing time)....on that time I said thanks God, You just remain me about something that I haven't complete yet!!...but then I keep thinking whether I can complete this task with successful or I just failed to do its...for 2 year I have been here..I keep asking myself if I doing better for everything that I need to finish..eg: my assignment and as a servant of God. one thing I realize about myself is...I KEEP struggle to fulfill it, even I felt exhausted to finish it..but I'll never care whether I give my best to finished it..

NOW,

I realize there is something that I need to complete not only in my study but also God ministry!!!